I told you that I wanted nothing more from such a simple day, and all the simple games that I play.

"Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned."
- Chuck Palahniuk.

I've been feeling a bit incoherent lately. This makes sense, and makes me think, so I'd just like to let it chill here.

Also, lately, I've just been feeling like I'm totally tripping balls. Whatever that means. Its how I feel. Like one second I'm driving around in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, and then I'm mopping the floors at Wendy's, and then I'm having a random non sexy sexual conversation with someone I've never met, and then I'm bumming cigarettes off people I barely know. And everywhere I look theres someone I know, and some potential adventure to take on. And I can be feeling overwhelmingly happy or overwhelmingly sad.

And I want something fresh, something new, something meaningful. I don't know what the fuck I"m looking for. Just something to fill this hole completely, because it is still there. I want it to be filled, and more. I want glamour and excitement and meaning. And people who understand that. I want those who ask existential questions that carry meaning, that aren't the same thing we hear before.

Make me think. Make me feel. I want to live.


I can't summarize the events of the past week and a half. Not because they have been so powerful, but because they have been so exponential.

I'm tired, and I want to get my thinking back to the way it used to be. I can't express myself the way I would like to. I can't analyize poetry like I should be. Its like I have a thinker's block. Like everything looks like some big psychodelic acid trip to me. I can't focus my energy on congitive tasks. I want to resolve this.