Dear you,

Please don't be another him.
I've already been there, I've already done this.

I've already watched someones natural cuteness be totally canceled out by highness.
And I know what its like to waste months on somebody, all because of one moment of profundity.
(A profound that, maybe, was only the result of alcohol anyway).
I've already dropped my plans, to go be with someone who doesn't give a damn about my presence.

I already know how this story ends.

So please, please, please
(please times infinity)
don't be this guy.

I finally got him out of my life
(And ironically, he is sitting in a jail cell for stealing from a church)
but the point is,
I don't want that again, for countless reasons.

I like
natural cuteness and
moments of profundity and
just spending time together.

And its not much to ask but really,
I've done so much thinking about all the mistakes I've ever made and I think I sort of understand,
and so now I finally have my heart here,
available,
walls down,
unprotected.

And I don't have the patience (or courage)
to sit like this for long but by power of Magical Thinking I'm willing you to care.
I hope you care.

And if you don't (and very soon)
id like to think I won't make the same mistake as last time
(hoping for too long).

Because I'm not naive or desperate but the fact is I'm not wasting attention on just anybody at all right now and its pretty much you or nobody and its up to you to make some effort because I truly don't know how and I can't throw myself at people anyway.

And so now its up to you for a while
to make some effort,
and so will I,
and if not,
then I suppose I'll resign (horrible thought)
but I won't go through what I already went through once.
and I guess maybe I'm too scared, and worrying about too many ridiculous things, but I won't ignore the deja-vu of tonight until its righted.

Sincerely,
Me