Epiphanies.

I've had several of these in the last 30 minutes.
I don't know why.


I've realized that, in regards to something, it is all about security.
Which may or may not last forever.
It is what it is. And security is preferable to insecurity.
Who can blame anyone for that?

I've realized that, my big future is rapidly approaching and I'm going from excited to scared to confused like crazyyyy.
But its gonna be all new, regardless. I hope that there is no "wrong" decisions here because either way I'm giving up a lot.
And the choice I make is obviously going to seriously impact who I become.
Ohhh, big huge massive decision, maybe bigger than any I've ever made in my life!


And finally I've realized that, maybe I've made a mistake.
I passed up my own security. I gave up someone because he didn't blow me off my feet.
But what if mutual love never does?
What if its never as beautiful and desirable as the unrequited?
Simply because, it doesn't leave anything to be desired, but all already available for the taking?
I could have felt so safe, so taken care of, so sure of where we stood.
But I'll give it up again and again for more ambiguity.
And maybe that is the wrong choice.
I choose to be alone, I need to accept that.



That was all incredibly vague, and I doubt anyone will know what I'm referring to completely. Its like 3 different situations....it makes sense to me now.
A lot has become clear :)