Because I haven't blogged in such a long time...

...and of course that means my mind is full of thoughts,
here is my life in a (hopefully) brief spill.


The past week has been large; I went down to Macon completely on my own, stayed, met people, did my thing, did it all. Alone. And it was great and fullfilling and invigorating just to feel so in control of my life.
Then I came home to get my wisdom teeth out, the past few days have been a blur. Not gonna lie, I think I've been on pills pretty heavy. I've had some insights, watched a lot of movies, slept a lot, and now I"m in a lot of pain. I'm barely eating but I guess it'll just make it more enjoyable when I can finally eat again. The constant hurt is kind of unreal thought without the medicine..
And now I"m back to working 6-7 days a week. And at this point, this too is fullfilling, because I don't have to feel guilt when I go out and splurge. And I feel great watching my account grow...it'll probably all be gone once college starts though. I try not to think about that...I still don't have enough.
But I like having goals to work toward. My next goal is Jacksonville :) Trip at the end of July with friends. So I work my ass off for the next four weeks, save my money, and hopefully not worry about a damn thing for the whole trip.
I'm trying to apply myself to working out again. Get it serious, get fit. Drink water. I"m already eating healthy enough so maybe thats half the battle.
I'm housesitting next week, so another step towards independence...I'll barely be able to be at the house but hey its still nice to have it to come home to.
I'm so insanely excited for college. Its about 6 weeks away...I'm not counting down though, really. I'm happy with where I am too. This is a good summer even if its not really a summer. Its an adulthood but I like it. Maybe i was made for this.

But the fact is, at this exact instant in my life, my sleep schedule is fucked beyond all description, I have a series of early mornings ahead of me, a case of red bulls and a bottle of painkillers to get me through it, a few hours to sleep between now and then, and a ton of people-obligations to fit in around this. There are SO many people I need to spend time with. But the fact is I just realized I haven't showered in almost 3 days on top of everything else, I need to pack for housesitting, I need to feed the fish that I'm godparenting for, and I want to curl up with the book that is required for Mercer, that is actually good sofar. I have so many thoughts in my head and so much to do and I feel so...content that its almost hard to go to sleep except I know I"ll hate myself for it in the morning. So Sleep. Work. Pack. Celebrate my father's birthday. Go feed the fish. Go to a 4th of July Party. Go to the house that I am watching. Repeat (well..more or less). And this is my life for a while. And I like it except for the early mornings, and I wonder what happens after this phase and can it make me just as happy, or better?