Liberation Pt. 2

And now, I'm relinquishing control, letting go of the constraints and pressures regarding decisions for my future.

I will let go of any notions I have of setting a plan anytime soon. I will wait until April to make my final decision.
That is, tomorrow, I will call the financial aid people at Duke. If it is financially a possibility, I will apply and hope. Its a big dream, but I have to try. I won't know until April if I am accepted.
I won't know until April where I'll be spending the next several years of my life.
I hoped I would know before now. But I think I've said it before. Someone has said it before...adventures come from planning things to be a certain way, but going and ending up somewhere else instead. Maybe not what you expected, and not what you planned.

So, by not having a plan, I leave myself with possibilities. If I am not accepted, I have Mercer. (UGA and GA State too). If I am accepted, then I have a choice.
And really, I'll be more prepared to make this choice 6 months from now. It is a long time to wait, but perhaps it will be for the better.
I will be informed, grown, and ready to make the decision then. I will be more of an adult.
And if I'm not accepted then..well hell, its about time for me to learn to deal with rejection.
And I need to learn patience, as well.

So I'm letting go of my plans, my securities. I will instead wait, and hope, and prepare for the possibilities.

I am afraid, afraid of being rejected. But if I do not try, I will spend probably the rest of my life wondering what would have happened.