Waiting is where I fail.

I have no patience.
I know what I want.
I wish I could just reach out, and say what i want to say. Ask for what I want.
But I'm holding myself back.
(Because I'm scared that the answer will be no).
I feel that by waiting, I'm giving us both space and time.
What if you are doing the same?
What if you don't care?
How much is too much, in regards to space and time?

Since I'm sitting here waiting.
I have nothing better to do, than ask these questions and thousands more. All day. For the past fucking week. This is insane.
I feel obsessive.
And impatient.
I don't know how to fill the time.

I try Sudokus and Mahjong and reading and writing and spending time with friends and eating and watching movies.
All kinds of ineffective distractions.
Because I always end up here, writing more and more pointless blogs.
Because I wish I weren't here, asking these questions. I want to be with you.

How much longer do I play this waiting game?
Hmm, theres a song for this.